Twelve Days of Thanksgiving

On the first day we give thanks for a fresh turkey feast with trimmings. On the second day we bless the cold turkey sandwiches. On the third day we praise the turkey pie and mixed veggies. On the fourth day we thank the pilgrims for not serving bison the first time, or we’d be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.

On the fifth day we gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of naked turkey carcass.

On the sixth day we show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey, and calls it Oriental.

On the seventh day we forgive our forefathers and pass the turkeynugget pizza.

On the eighth day the word “vegetarian” keeps popping into our heads. On the ninth day we check our hair to make sure we’re not sprouting feathers. On the tenth day we hope the winged meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler. On the eleventh day we smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight. On the twelfth day we apologize for running out of turkey leftovers.

—Author unknown